Intriguing. I'm wondering if John's disdain for Milly had been building up before the events of this story, or if it's coming on all at once now due to some mysterious influence in the setting. Excited for your next story :)
I like your take on John and Milly. What if it was all about the zone? What if the two Johns were in a superposition? Who knows... Thanks for reading and commenting, Trevor. Really.
Michael! The start of this — that first paragraph — was incredible! Such vivid and evocative imagery. I was gripped instantly. Looking forward to part 2! :)
And dusk was setting - uh oh.
Heading over to part 2 now to see how this ends! Something suspicious about that new mall and town ...
Intriguing. I'm wondering if John's disdain for Milly had been building up before the events of this story, or if it's coming on all at once now due to some mysterious influence in the setting. Excited for your next story :)
I like your take on John and Milly. What if it was all about the zone? What if the two Johns were in a superposition? Who knows... Thanks for reading and commenting, Trevor. Really.
Fantastic!
Thanks, Luke!
It would appear that they had stumbled upon a hyperspace loop. Either that or... there were damn huge corn fields planted everywhere :)
You almost got it, bro. It's not a loop, but...
No spoilors dude! :D
Never! ;-)
I loved the slow build, I can't wait to see where this twisted road leads in Part 2.
And I never knew about Cargo cults. The way you used it was a good way to frame modern emptiness. Thank you for sharing 😊
Thanks, MK! I'm glad you liked it, man.
Superb opening Michael
Honored, Steve!
It’s a grand piece Michael!
I'm glad. Really!
This has a very cool Twilight Zone vibe. Bring on part 2!
Thanks, Evelyn!
Nailed the intro! Nice work Michael.
Thanks, man. I’m glad you liked it!
Amazing, Cap. The vibe you've set is really impressive!
Thank you, hon! I’m glad you liked it.
Michael! The start of this — that first paragraph — was incredible! Such vivid and evocative imagery. I was gripped instantly. Looking forward to part 2! :)
You made me proud of it, bro. Thanks, I truly appreciate it ;-)
My pleasure! And you totally should be proud of it man :)
Good build-up, Michael.
Grazie, Portia, sono lieto che ti sia piaciuto. La tua opinione è preziosa per me.
It will be interesting to see where this goes…
I’ll try to wow you! Well, it’s just a hope :)
Really strong, atmospheric descriptions here, and such a creeping sense of unease! Looking forward to Part 2!
Thanks, Caitriana. I appreciate your kind words. I hope I can keep up that same level in part two!